Celebrate Yourself!

Let me start by saying that this post is not a dig to anyone close to me or a "feel sorry for me post", it's more of an "aha" moment post.

In our household, my husband and I made it a point to celebrate every important milestone for each of our daughters and for each other. We went out to dinner or did something special to let the person know that we were proud of them. To the point that we even celebrated our daughters’ first menstrual cycle—a rite of passage into womanhood:-).

However, this got me thinking this morning. As humans, especially as women, are we waiting on others to celebrate us? Are we looking for validation in the eyes or reaction from others? But more importantly, what does this to our inner most self when we don't receive that validation, do we shrink back and minimize what we have done or accomplished? Do we feel silly for mentioning it in the first place? Do we tell ourselves that this is nothing special but something that’s expected from us? Or even worse, do we question our worthiness of such accolades or celebration?

I will be the first to admit that I have felt these emotions at one time or another in my life. Sometimes, it's the validation from one person that makes it more real or important to us. This can be a parent, a spouse, a boss, a teacher or someone of admiration in our lives and if we don't receive what we're looking for, we diminish the big step forward or achievement we just accomplished.

What if we learned to celebrate ourselves and invite others along? How would that look in your life? What if as you set goals and important milestones, you also set how you will celebrate achieving it?

These couple of months, I have achieved several key things in my life, and I don't want to put the weight on someone else to celebrate me, but I want to instead, invite them along in the celebration. Oh, what freedom that is, what tremendous satisfaction that will feel and how wonderful it is to show the younger women in our lives that this is okay to do!

Celebrate yourself today, you my darling are doing great!

Cheering you on,

Coach Silvia 

How is your brand speaking for you?

What do Apple, Coke, Starbucks, Gucci, Louis Vuitton all have in common? They are strong brands!  As consumers we have an expectation when we buy these brands. We expect it to function, to taste a certain way and to make us feel good. For example, I will not purchase another mayonnaise that’s not Hellman, in my opinion, it’s just the best. I will also not trust my favorite sandwich or potato salad to any other brand. What about those infamous McDonald fries or apple pies? There’s a certain feeling and memories of my childhood that seem to be attached to these items.

Brands have the power to capture our hearts and wallets and they have done it for decades!

But, none of this was done haphazardly, there was a very strategic approach by their marketing experts. Experts planned and put steps in place to achieve the impact it has had on you and on me.

Which leads me to think about personal branding.

What is a personal brand really? According to Wikipedia— Personal branding is the conscious and intentional effort to create and influence public perception of an individual by positioning them as an authority in their industry, elevating their credibility, and differentiating themselves from the competition, to ultimately advance their career, increase their circle of influence, and have a larger impact

As women in workforce, we carry a personal brand everywhere we go. You don’t have a brand on the weekend and another during the week. You don’t turn your brand on and off—it’s who you are and how you show up. It’s more than the clothes you wear, it’s the essence of you. People closest to you are very aware of it. They know your likes, your reactions, your abilities, your expertise, your strengths, talents, weakness and gifts!

You may think that there are so many others that do the same thing you do, why is it important that I pay attention to this but the fact is—no one does it like you! You provide others with a sense of familiarity, of trust and consistency that they can count on when they work with you. Think about Chick-fil-A. Did America really need another chicken sandwich? Was it new for the market? No, but there is a “secret sauce” that is unique to them that people have grown to love and no one can match.

You are your brand! No one can match your “secret sauce”.

Now I ask you, “How are you showing up to your workplace?” Are you clear on your brand?  What message are you sending to the world? Are you investing in being the best version of yourself? Zig Ziglar said, “If people like you they will listen to you, but if they trust you, they’ll do business with you.”

Don’t leave your personal brand to chance, be strategic, be authentic and be purposeful.

Cheering you on,

Coach Silvia

Note: This blog was previously published in the Crexent Business Newsletter.

How are you?

How are you, seriously?  By now, we have all made peace with things being different these days but, have we really paid attention to how these changes have affected us emotionally and physically?  Are we so good at being strong that we have completely ignored the effects this pandemic has had on us and what this new normality truly means?

Emily Ley states “You may be bending over backward to give your loved ones a good life, but if you’re not taking care of yourself too, you’re moving backward—away from your goal.”

As women, mothers, wives, professionals, and, daughters we are always giving.  Giving to our families, our jobs, our friends, and our community without regard to what our bodies and minds are telling us.  Today, I want to remind you to be kinder to yourself.  No, is a valid response to any invitations or ask—it does NOT make you a bad person, friend, or daughter.  Because you said No you will not be loved any less.

As we start a new work week, schedule several short self-care moments.  Here are some ideas:

·        Go to your favorite spot in your home and enjoy 10 minutes of silence

·        Read a chapter of that book you’ve been meaning to read

·        Take a bath and play soothing spa music

·        Go for an evening walk by yourself or your favorite fur baby

·        Enjoy that mini-chocolate bar

·        Call a friend—just because

·        Buy yourself flowers

However, self-care looks like to you—do it and resist the urge to talk yourself out of it.  Cultivating a life that matters looks at every area of your life. Make the TIME because you are worth it!

Success women know when to work hard and when to pay attention to their present needs.

Cheering you on,

Silvia

Wait, how many stitches?

It was a typical Thursday morning; I woke up and made my way over to the shower.  A few minutes into my shower I recall not feeling well and I feared an episode of vertigo was coming on.  Boy, was I wrong!  Things got worse, very fast. I thought, Silvia get out of the shower before things get worse.

As I sat in my bathroom chair, my husband asked if everything was okay.  I told him, no, I am not feeling so great.

That’s the last thing I remember before waking up on my bathroom floor with a busted lip and several injuries to my face and hand.  I have never fainted in my life and couldn’t believe what was happening to me.

I will admit that lately I have experienced a significant increase in stress in my life, along with grieving the sudden loss of my father and I knew that I was exhausted, but, never to the point of fainting!

In the ER every test you can imagine was done and thank God, all came back normal.  The doctor believes that I experienced a sharp drop in blood pressure and that caused me to faint.  His instructions were to take it easy, get some rest because this could have been much worse.  The result of fainting on my face was walking away with four stitches and several bruises that would eventually clear up with a couple of weeks.

Why did I decide to tell you this story today?  Because as women we run our bodies, minds, and spirits to levels that cannot be sustained.  We make sure to take care of everyone else well and leave our needs for when we have extra time on our hands—which really means—never! 

This is why this month I’ve dedicated the month of May to provide you with information, resources, and tools that will help you make choices that cultivate a life that truly matters to YOU.  A life that we are not only proud of, but a life that we enjoy living.  A life where we are able to remember important milestones, only because we slowed down long enough to enjoy it with the people with love and care for the most.

Think about it….  If you remove the things that are not truly important, how much time will you have to dedicate to yourself and your loved ones?

I’ve learned my lesson—God knows I don’t want another reminder or set of stitches to slow down.

Friends, our homes don’t need to look like Pinterest-worthy homes, our outfits don’t need to match the models or ads on Instagram and our children don’t need to be showcased on our Facebook pages for us to feel worthy.

Let’s enter May with a renewed mind and challenge.  Let’s enter this month with hopes and dreams of truly taking back control over our choices and our lives.

Lastly, I would like to recommend the book Cultivate by Lara Casey.  Lara takes on this subject in-depth and helps us look to live our life with intentionality.

I leave you with a couple of questions: 

1.      Which task or responsibility can you stop doing or delegate to someone else?

2.      What restful activity can you commit to starting that will help you rest and refresh?

Cheering you on,

Silvia

Taking Care of You…

“Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.”  Parker Palmer

We have each tried to adopt the idea or thought of self-care in one way or another.  It sounds so enticing and desirable, but most of us stop there—just with the thought of self-care.

Let’s be honest, when it comes to doing something for ourselves it’s usually the last item on the priority list.  It is something that we will do only if we have the extra time to do it and—if everyone leaves the house, if the budget allows for it if the planets all align, if I have the energy to plan something for myself, if…. (fill in your excuse)

Yes, I said it…. EXCUSE! 

We make excuses for our own self-care because in our busy society it seems to come attached with a sense of guilt.  “There is so much to do, and others need me so how can I possibly take time to do something for ME?  Wow, that would be so selfish”.  How many times have you had this inner dialogue?

Cornerstone.org states “Self-care for women is imperative. The concept of self-care refers to taking personal responsibility for one’s physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual health. Practicing self-care is preventative, not selfish.” Read more about it here

How can we leave a practice that is so important to our overall wellbeing as the last thing on our list? To be honest, this is something that I struggle with constantly—I will ALWAYS find something to do for someone else and forget that I also need to refresh, refuel and fill up my own emotional and physical bank.  That is why I developed a 32 Affirmations Workbook that will help busy women, like you and me, stay focused on my own personal self-care.

My friend, yes lots of us need you, but we need your best self, and the only way to accomplish that is to make sure you are on top of your priority list. So, what will you do for YOU today?

Until next time and don’t forget to grab your FREE resource here.

Cheering you on,

Silvia

10 Tips for Working from Home

No one can argue with the fact that we are living in unique times.  Life as we once knew it has changed dramatically and we may need to adjust with the changes that are still to come.  What used to be our normal will inevitably shift to a “new” normal.

“Become a student of change. It is the only thing that will remain constant.” —Anthony D’Angelo

I have been fortunate to be able to work from home for over 20 years for two major organizations.  Yes, that was before Y2K, before fast internet connection, video conferences and toll free conference call numbers.  I had to adjust to this change and make it work for me and my family.  Below I have listed ten tips that have worked for me over the years:

Tip #1:  Get up at your regular scheduled time and get dressed

Yes, don’t think that this is a free day.  Get up and also get dressed and prepared for the day ahead.  In the age of Zoom, Jabber, Google Hangouts and other online video conferencing tools you need to look presentable and professional.  And a bonus tip: please do not eat while you’re on a video call.  It’s rude to those presenting and we obviously do not want to hear you or see you chew your food.

Tip #2: Have breakfast

Speaking of eating, don’t starve yourself or skip meals.  This will not only help your brain work at an optimal capacity but you will be in a better mood too. Skipping meals does not do anyone any favors.

Tip #3: Take Breaks

Schedule breaks throughout the day for mental sanity and for your lunch break.  It will help you not only think through things clearly but it will resemble the office when you disconnect from your desk to see other people.  I’m not sure about you but for me, some of my best ideas come when I walk away from a project I’ve been working on for a while.  Also, a scheduled lunch break will allow you to have structure in your day and be a better coworker to everyone.

Tip #4 Create a To Do List for the day

As you begin your day or end your day create a To Do list on what you want to accomplish that day.  I like to create both a personal and work list.  This helps me make sure that I am not dedicating all my time to work (very easily done with it seems that the work doesn’t end!).  Seeing all of the items I was able to check off my list makes me feel accomplished at the end of the day.

Tip #5 Connect with coworkers

Now, what I mean by connect with coworkers is not only for “work-related” tasks.  Reach out to a coworker (via phone or video) simply to see how they are doing and how they are coping with this new schedule.  Being away from the office can create new stress for people and also bring on a new sense of loneliness they have never experienced before.  Let’s help each other out and truly connect without having a specific request or need.

Tip #6 Communicate your work schedule

Communicate your work schedule to your family and friends.  When I started to work from home I lived in a small apartment with my three daughters while my husband was still living in another state.  This arrangement went on for more than 5 months until our home was finally built and we were able to move in.  It is easy for folks to think that since you work from home you are doing nothing all day—you will soon notice that this is the complete opposite!  Now, that doesn’t mean that you can’t answer an urgent call or text but your response may sometimes be slower and less frequent.  Also, if you are using your cell phone for calls or video conferencing the last thing you want is your work calls interrupted by incoming calls or text notifications.

Regarding small children, let them know that when you are working you cannot have any interruptions unless it’s an emergency.  My 2 ½ year old was taken to daycare every day and my two older daughters knew that if my office door was closed, they couldn’t come in at that time.  If they really needed to tell me something they would come in quietly and give me a written note on what they needed.  This worked very well and they knew that Mommy took breaks and would come out to make sure everyone was okay.

Tip #7 Try to finish on time

It’s so tempting to work longer hours than when you’re in the office; after all you don’t have a commute to worry about.  However, you still need to rest and, be rested for either an emergency or for the next work day.  That last email response is tempting to answer or wanting to get a head start on that presentation for tomorrow. Try not to do it.  Remember that not only are you adjusting to your new normal but so are your coworkers.  Let’s respect each other’s personal time.

Tip # 8 Have a regular dinner time

This should be your sacred time with family or for your own routine.  Working from home does not mean that your life is put on hold.  Enjoy the flexibility your job has given you but also know that your family time is still of great importance, respect that and show your family that they matter to you above all else!

Tip # 9 Get Moving

So now you’re working from home, sitting in the same position for hours at a time and then wonder why your lower back is killing you!  I have heard it said many times that “sitting is the new smoking”.  Meaning, it is important for our health to get moving.  Consider going for a walk around your neighborhood, put on an exercise DVD or even take the kids to the park as a reward for being so good throughout the day and giving you peace and quiet to work.  It’s a win, win for everyone.

Tip #10 Have a designated work space

I know it’s so tempting to work out of your kitchen table or perhaps your place is too small—but  believe me that it will make a huge difference.  When I started working out of my small apartment, my office space was my walk-in closet—true story!  I would leave a small crack open to let some air in but that was it.  I bought a small desk and decorated the small space to make it functional for what I needed.  This ensured that my company’s confidential information was secured and my kids wouldn’t get to it.  This also allowed me to close the door at the end of the day and forget about work for a while.  Look to see what works for you but find a space and make it both functional and nice.

“When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.” —Tuli Kupferberg

So my friends, this has worked for me and believe me this list continues to evolve as technology evolves and my family dynamic changes.

Let me know what has worked for you!

Cheering you on,

Silvia

Let yourself be FREE...

How many of us love to be affirmed for our gifts, abilities, our calling, our talents, our looks and our choices by others?  We secretly look for the approval of others or at the very least the affirmation of what we already know to be true.

Why is so much value placed on what others think?

If we get a good dose of it (the satisfying dose amount is your own measurement or need) then, we lead happy lives.  Everyone around us gets the benefit of us being content as we go about our day.  However, if we are lacking what we feel we need—we lead depressed, anxiety and worry driven lives.  And, everyone around us gets a dose of our misery and discontentment.  Is this really the way you want to live your life?

How many of us are willing to be so vulnerable and actually admit that this is what we are allowing to drive the quality of our lives and emotions?  Unfortunately, very few of us.  We know this by what we see on social media.  We post to get reactions, likes, “affirmations” and yes….approval that we are on the right path.  However, this only provides you with a temporary dose that wears out after 3-4 hours (at most) and then you have to come back for another dose—a useless and endless cycle.

You see, I have been on the receiving and giving end of affirmations.  I have experienced the lack of it and have had the backlash from people who feel that they were short changed by my words (I didn't meet their need!).  Aren’t we putting unnecessary emotional weight on one another?  At what point do we take responsibility for our own emotions and stop playing the blame game on why we are not content or satisfied with our lives?

Stop it! 

An EMPOWERED woman take responsibility over her own emotions and lives a confident life knowing her unique gifts, abilities, calling, talents, looks and purpose as it was created by her God especially for her.  She knows that no one can compete or diminish that….no matter what they say or don’t say.

Remember my friend that I am always cheering you on…but you don’t really need it!

Today’s Challenge—

Free yourself from the opinions of others whether it's good or bad.

Goals....What Goals?

My dear friend Maria at Gracefulorder.com is my organizing mentor.  I admire how great she is at what she does and how it seems to come so naturally for her.  Being an organizational guru is truly a gift! 

However, for some strange reason (I even shocked myself) 2018 has started out with a cleaning and organization frenzy for me.  My youngest daughter and I started January 1st tackling the kitchen pantry, my home office and our laundry room.  You would think that it would stop there BUT it hasn’t!  We went on to tackle our garage, the back patio and even set up an herb garden!  I have moved on to my closet and boy what a task that has been.  However I have found that take things in sections it prevents me from feeling overwhelmed by the task at hand.

But this renewed love for all things organized has me thinking…where is this coming from?  AND…why now?  Yes, I ask myself a lot of questions and I sometimes even answer myself—yikes!

If we look all around we are being bombarded from social media to our work environments to set goals for the New Year.  While I am a defender of goals setting, I am not for creating goals for the sake of going along with the crowd.  You see, in order for any of your plans to succeed you need to get organized and that means organized both physically and mentally.

Some of us are under the impression that all of the prior year “stuff” will clear out of our minds and lives on its own. We tell ourselves that time will make it go away.  That when the clock strikes 12:01am on January 1st, we magically get a clean slate! But we both know that this couldn’t be further from the truth. 

We need to be intentional about anything that we want to succeed at in our lives.  ANYTHING!

So here are some tips—

• Start with small victories.  Meaning, set aside 30 minutes to clear out a small area.  Don’t allow yourself to get overwhelmed by the entire project.
• Share your plans.  Share your plans with someone that will help you stay on track and be accountable.
• Take pictures.  Yes, before and after pictures is such a great boost to your energy and enthusiasm.  Post it on social media…everyone can use a little inspiration to tackle their own projects.
• Donate.  When in doubt you probably don’t need to keep it.  It is said that if you haven’t worn a piece of clothing in a year—you probably never will. Also, chances are that if it doesn’t fit…it never will.  Sorry to be so brutally honest but if you do lose the weight; you will most likely want a fresh and new look anyways. So, let’s sing along to let it go….let it go….
• Celebrate.  Celebrate the big and the small wins.  Shout it from the mountain tops and keep going.

So have I set my goals for 2018?  Nope not yet, I haven’t because I am still clearing and cultivating the ground in which these goals will be planted in to flourish.

Take some time to make room both in your physical space and mental space.  I have intentionally cleared my January calendar to do just that….no appointments until February so I can step into this new year with the best environment I can have for myself and those around me.

Cheering you on to the best new year ever my friend!

Until next time,

Silvia

Challenge Activity

What physical or mental activity are you going to start clearing out today?

My Blind Spot...

Lunch was delicious but the conversation was even more scrumptious!  For me, a little time with a girlfriend is never time wasted nor do I leave it to the last thing I plan for myself—it’s a life line for me to keep going on certain days.

As we talked and caught up on each others lives, she asked me a question.  A question that still has me thinking…

“Silvia, what if we are not the person we think we are?”

What? As she asked the question, I took a moment and a bite of my salad—that was my defense for my silence…lol!  That’s my story and I am sticking to it.

She went on to say, “what if we think that we are a certain way but what others see is totally different?”  Of course as she was speaking, she was referring to herself but I immediately went into full evaluation mode of myself.  What if I believe that I am a pretty nice person but, others think that I am selfish and self-absorbed?  What if I believe that I am caring and thoughtful but, when I grab my friend’s ear all I do is speak about myself, my problems, my dilemma, etc.  Worst yet, what if she only hears from me when I need something but hears crickets when all is well?  Or, what if I overwhelm my friends and family with constant phone calls and/or text messages?  Oh boy….”what if” questions took over my mind!

What if I’ve made life all about ME?!?!?!?!

I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that a small part of me thought that maybe, just maybe she was trying to tell me something.  You know something not so flattering and she was setting up the stage for me so I didn’t feel too badly.  I waited for the other shoe to drop but it didn’t—oh thank God!

However, I did go on to share that this is one of the reasons why I feel that strong friendships and a trusted inner circle is so valuable to us.  We can’t do life alone and we certainly can’t see our own blind spots on our own.  Your strong friendships and inner circle have earned the right to speak into your life, not with hate or belittling but in love and understanding.

My friend do you know your blind spot?  Are you confident that you know what areas you need to continue to work on?  Have you reflected on what you’ve heard others say about you—not what you tell yourself?

Project ME doesn’t stop with a one-time event but rather it's a bunch of little events in your life.  Be intentional and do the work to be a better version of you.

As always, I am cheering you on as your continue to work on YOU!!! 

Silvia

8 Days of Honoring Legacy- Day 8!

My final post on honoring legacy has to be to the first woman that gave me life—my mom!

From the first time I laid eyes on her I knew that she was handpicked for me.  She is not only beautiful on the outside, but she is also amazingly stunning on the inside.

My mother was the first person that taught me to care--about others and myself.  You see, she has dedicated most of her life to the ministry of servicing others, either through counseling or through providing her services where it was needed.  Although she is semi-retired, she continues to serve the elderly that need the love from another woman. She also taught me to care for myself; for my personal growth and my own empowerment as a Christian woman.

She taught me the value in working hard for what you want.  There is no end to her days as she is the multitasking queen!  Her dedication to excellence is truly remarkable; she wants things done right even if it means to start over and do it again.

When I was growing up we didn’t have many nice things.  I remember having to purchase clothing and items from thrift stores but my mother would take whatever was purchased, fix it and adorn it to make it different and make it mine.  I never felt that I was missing anything.  She has always loved me unconditionally and has encouraged me at each key point of my life.

She is also my shopping partner.  We both love to shop, we both like nice things and we both love to save money while buying nice things.  She reminds me, Silvia you work hard so buy yourself the things that you like.

This post can easily become a mini-book because there is so much that I can say about my mother.  She is a woman to be admired, she is a woman of excellence, a wise woman and best of all—the godliest woman I know.  I am the luckiest “girl” in the world to have her as MY mom.  Once again, God gave me the best and I will forever be thankful to Him for her.

Happy Mother’s Day to the most beautiful Mom in the world!

8 Days of Honoring Legacy- Day 7

My youngest sister Kery was the last sibling that God blessed me with.  She has always been not only a risk taker, but also someone that I look up to because of her enthusiasm for life and fun!  After all, in Kery’s book her birthday is a national holiday.  So much so, that when I was pregnant with my youngest daughter and her C-section date was scheduled on her birthday, I begged my doctor to please change it lol!

Kery didn’t have the luxury of easing into motherhood after her marriage.  No, her marriage to Scott came with an added bonus—an automatic young son!  She quickly rolled up her sleeves and has loved him as her own from the first day she met him.  She doesn’t shy away from a challenge but instead says…”bring it on”.

Kery later had two children of her own, (Brandon and Briana) two great kids that call her Mommy each and every day.  Because Kery is also a military Mom, she has had to adjust to raising her children in different cities and schools.  I admire her adaptability skills in her new environment and her enthusiasm when a new assignment is presented to them.

Kery, although you are the youngest in our household, you are building a beautiful legacy each and every day!

8 Days of Honoring Legacy- Day 6

My sister Jackie was a welcomed blessing to our family for multiple reasons.  Our departure from Argentina was mostly due to my second sister passing away when she was only 16 days old.  Jackie was a true welcomed blessing. 

As a young child, Jackie was not only energetic but the life of the house.  The girl loved to sing at the young age 1 and would hold even a drumstick as a microphone.  Jackie always had this hidden comedic flare to her, you never knew when the joke was coming or when she would dress like Steve Urkle and surprise you!

However, Jackie did grow into an amazing woman.  She is also a peacemaker everywhere she goes; her calm demeanor puts everyone at ease.  Her no drama zone allows everyone to just take a chill pill in her presence.  Jackie can go from not saying a word and observing her surroundings to speaking for an hour straight without stopping to breathe!

As a grown woman, mother of two teenagers I admire how she loves to spend time with her family—they truly are everything to her.  She is also a spiritual mother to many in her church family as she co-pastors a church alongside her husband.

Jackie is still funny, still loves to sing and yup, still loves to make us laugh with her silliness!   I honor you little sister for becoming a woman of integrity to be respected and admired by all that have the privilege to really know you!

8 Days of Honoring Legacy- Day 5

My dearest Aunt Lily, the only one I have near to my heart happens to be one amazing woman.  Like her mother, Nona Chabela is oozes peace everywhere she goes.  She is a great woman of God and is always ready to sit with you and have a cup of tea over a bite of her delicious cakes.

You see, I believe that I get my creativity from my aunt Lily.  There is nothing that she cannot create in a cake form.  The woman’s talent is endless and sought out by many.  She works at a very prominent bakery in Miami, Fl.

My mind seems to always want to create something and the more details the merrier in my book—I  love details!

Aunt Lily was blessed with a special needs son and she has shown me what love, patience, true strength, determination and what true faith in god really looks like.

Tia Lily, I admire you for more reasons than you know.  I know that you will make an amazing grandmother to your Sebastian.  We are all blessed to have you in our lives!

8 Days of Honoring Legacy- Day 4

The day I met Lydia I sensed her immediate approval to join the Arvelo family.  She treated me like one of her friends and I felt right at home.

However, that is not what I admire most about Lydia but it’s her determination and persistence at whatever dream she wants to accomplish.  She doesn’t know the meaning of giving up or failure.  Her example is to keep going until you get to your determined destination.

And speaking of destinations, she is a world traveler!  Yes, she works hard but also plays hard.  I can only hope to visit the world like she has.

Lydia is not only my sister in law but also a big sister to me.  Although we may not see each other or speak for prolonged periods of time, I know in my heart that if I am in need of a conversation, prayer or anything else, I can count on her to be by my side.

Lydia I know you are still building your legacy, but my dear sister I honor you because you are building a class act for all of us to follow!

8 Days of Honoring Legacy- Day 3

I met this amazing mother of three before I met her son.  She was kind and quiet.  The second time I saw her she brought along her son because she already knew that she had found someone for him.

My amazing mother in law is not a woman of many words but a woman that loves deeply and passionately.  She is a model mother to her children and is the true meaning of the term “mother bear”—don’t mess with her children.

I owe my Caribbean cooking skills to this woman.  From the moment I had a taste of her food I knew that I wanted to learn to cook like her—she was my Puerto Rican Barefoot Cantessa!  You never leave her side hungry or even just right, if you are not wobbling out of her presence from eating so much food she is not happy.  My daughters used to spend the summer with her and come back 10-15lbs heavier and so happy that grandma did their treats several times a day.

I am blessed beyond words to have her today in my life.  She may not be a woman of many words but she will be sure that you know how she feels about something. 

We lovingly call her “Abuela Tomasa” and there is no one else like her!

8 Days of Honoring Legacy- Day 2

Today I honor the legacy of another grandmother—my paternal grandmother.

What’s incredible about this woman is that I remember her so vividly.  The last time I saw her was when I left Argentina and I was 5 years old.  I never had the opportunity to see her again,  but I feel that I resemble her in so many ways.

Nona Justa was in a sense, the opposite of Nona Chabela.  She was opinionated, she never missed an opportunity to use her voice and there was no doubting what she thought or felt.

Nona Justa had a life of little luxuries, a lot of hard work and moments where she was a single mother to 3 boys.  She was tough but she needed to be during those moments in her life.  She demonstrated incredible strength although life didn’t hand her too many things.  She was consistent and reliable.  She was true to herself and to those around her.

Although I didn’t have the pleasure of growing up with her my mother reminds me that I have a lot of things from my strong grandmother.

Nona Justa (whose name means justice), may you see the little parts of you in my life.  May I run this race with the determination and the tenacity that would make you very proud. 

I love you and will always remember  you until we see each other again!

8 Days of Honoring Legacy...

During a recent episode of Super Soul Sunday,  Iyanla Vanzant said something that went deep in my soul.  She spoke about the women that paved the way to where she is today.  I couldn’t help and think about the women I was blessed to have known and yet, the millions that came before me and the millions that will come after me that I will never meet.

In my 46 years of life, there have been lots of women that have one way or another shaped the woman that I am today.  And yet, I know that there are many that I haven’t met yet—I look forward to meeting those precious lives too!  However, it made me ponder on the women that have had a direct impact in my life.  As I think of the week ahead that is leading up to Mother’s Day (in the US), I want to take the time to honor each one of them.  Please join me by also honoring the women in your life!

On this first day of Honoring Legacy, I would like to honor my maternal grandmother many know as Nona Chabela.

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Nona Chabela was not only my grandmother but everyone’s grandmother.  As soon as you met her sweet and quiet disposition you were instantly in love with her and wanted to adopt her to be your very own grandmother.  She not only loved everyone but was sure that you knew that she loved you—you felt the love that she gave out.  She wasn’t a woman of many words but her hugs were priceless and I miss them so much these days.

I know that I am blessed above and beyond because I got to grow up with this amazing human being.  She loved God with all her heart and she loved people.  Her family was everything to her and she would do anything for you, no matter what the sacrifice.

Nona Chabela left this world on July 30, 2009, way too soon but she left a very notable mark for all to feel and see.  Just today my husband reminded me that she was a woman that dispersed peace everywhere she went.  Miguel also saw her as his grandmother and she poured her love on him from the first day she met him.

I will forever be honored by her legacy as a woman of strength and love in her very quiet and meek ways.

I honor you today Nona and send you lots of kisses up to heaven!

The Joy Experiment...

I don’t know about you but 2016 has had a very interesting start for my family and me.  It seems that we’ve survive one storm after another.

Let me share a little about my story with you…

About 26 years ago my love of my life, my husband Miguel, was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) before our 2nd year wedding anniversary.  We were a young couple with more questions than answers, with more doubt rather than faith.  I was a very young bride with a one year old staring at a very uncertain future.  Fast forward about 26 years and here we are today.

Miguel is a walking miracle and we thank God for all He has done in his life.  His MS has been relatively stable and for that we are grateful!

However in February of this year, I was on my way to a Women’s Conference our church was hosting when I get a call from my husband.  He usually calls within 5 minutes of me leaving the house to go anywhere just to talk about... well….anything!  However, this call was different.  He said, “I’ve fallen and there is blood everywhere and I am not sure where it’s coming from.”  I have to tell you that we were both relatively calm about it.  He then tells me, “I think I should call 911”—to  which I agreed and told him that I was about 15-20 minutes away from the house but would try to get there as quickly as possible.  He then asks me the dreaded question “Did you lock the front door?”  To which I responded…”Yes”.  Now we both knew that this was not a good thing for the paramedics.  We both knew this would mean a much more difficult task for them to be able to get to him.  God was good to us and although that day my bathroom looked like a crime scene, Miguel was fine and walked away with only 7 stitches to his head.

A couple of weeks later I go to the ob/gyn for my annual exam to which I am told that I need a biopsy of the uterus, full blood work, sonogram of the thyroid and oh yeah, an MRI of the pituitary gland because my prolactin levels are elevated.  I couldn't help but think.....seriously?!?!?!?!

The last few weeks of testing have been overwhelming on my body, mind and spirit.

You see none of us are free of life’s challenges.  No one!  However, not everyone is willing to share their story, challenges and defeat with others. If we only knew how sharing helps others in just the right time in their lives.

In the middle of all this I found myself losing my JOY.  I had noticed my JOY starting to decline and while there were short-lived moments of happiness and joy—most of the time I was empty!  I thought to myself I need to get on the journey back to Joy.  This is not going to happen accidentally, I will need to be intentional about it.  I started listing things that bring me joy because when we are going through the ugly its hard to figure out what those things are.

As a result of this I created The Joy Experiment.  It is 30 days of intentionally doing things that I know in the depths of my heart bring me joy.  Your Joy Experiment may look different than mine but in the month of April why don’t we walk that journey together…our journey back to finding and experiencing joy?

Starting April 1st I will post one activity or thing a day that brings me joy and you can follow my thread and post yours.  There is power in knowing that there are others joining you, let us gather the sisterhood and empower one another with JOY!  Let’s not give into what we are going through and let us be intentional about doing what makes us smile.

I look forward to walking this journey with you and i hope you are as excited about this as I am. Hey, you can start working on your list today and be ready to post your item this Friday, April 1st.

Here is to experiencing intentional Joy......Here is to The Joy Experiment! 

Cheering you on my friend,

Coach Silvia 

Friendships, Cheerleaders, Empowerment Partners and so much more...

Welcome to March my friends!

March is a very special month for me for several reasons.  For instance, it marks the end of winter and the beginning of Spring.  Spring is a time when beautiful things grow and flourish.  There is something different in the air and in our moods. There is a sense of expectancy!

March is also National Women’s History Month, International Women’s Day (March 8th) and it’s also the 3rd birthday of Women’s Empowerment Services. 

All wonderful events that celebrate women!

In honor of these holidays and our 3rd birthday—we want to celebrate BIG!  So how do we plan on doing this? 

Drumroll…..

We are starting a new group called Empowerment Partners.  You my dear have survived the winter months (whatever that may mean to you and, I am not only talking about the weather).  Some of us are hanging by a thread to those January goals.  How exciting would it be to keep them alive by joining a group of like-minded women who are ready to cheer you on.

Empowerment Partners is a Facebook Group where we will come clean and share 1 or 2 goals we want to accomplish in March in order to finish the quarter strong.  I am a strong believer of breaking down goals and setting new ones on a quarterly basis.  By the end of the year you will see that you led a more focused view of what you desired to happen in your life in 2016.

So how do you know if this group is right for you?

• Are you an encourager but sometimes feel that you need a little encouragement yourself?
• Are you ready to crush your goals but need a little nudge, push or some accountability?
• Are you looking to meet new women?
• Do you need encouragement from someone speaking directly to you?
• Are you looking for a safe environment to share some of the “low” moments?  We all have them but certainly do not want to announcement to the world!
• Are you also looking to share some of your “high” moments and wins to a cheering group in order to get the energy you need to keep going?
• And lastly, Are you willing and ready to be a cheerleader in someone else’s life?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then, this group is a perfect match for you.

This FREE Facebook group will be active between March 7th through March 31st.  I am giving you a couple of days to get your act together (saying that it with a very loving tone:-) in order to hit the ground running on Monday the 7th .

Are you ready to say yes?  If you are interested just put your name under this post and you will be hearing from us.

Ladies, let’s build a platform where we celebrate each other!  Negativity and discouragement will come, but let’s do what we can to find a place where we will be encouraged to not only GROW but THRIVE!

Cheering you on,

Silvia

Coach Silvia 

Starting Over....

I love to go to the salon and treat myself to a wonderful manicure; it’s truly is a treat for me! I don’t seem to get them enough of them and I particularly love the whole experience and the no chip option is a dream come true.  A fresh coat of nail polish always seems to give me a boost of confidence and joy.

Yes, a little bottle of color does all that for me!

However, on this particular day I didn’t have the time to go to the salon and had to do my own nails— something that happens too often due to my hectic schedule.  I was fine with the neutral, pale pink color and actually did a decent job at it.  I said to myself “Great, one less thing on my to-do list”!

And then it happened…..

Yes, I know you’ve been there too, I started to do things and messed up about 3 of the nails on my right hand.  UGH!  REALLY!!!  I tried to fix it with an extra coat of polish and even a fresh top coat, but nothing seemed to fix it.  I finally gave up and decided that it was time to start over.

I find that there are moments in our lives where a patch, a fix, a stitch or even a small adjustment cannot fix a situation.  We need to step back, look at what is in front of us and just start over.

You see, society has taught us that starting over may be looked at as failure or even as a waste of precious time however, some things just cannot be fixed.  There are things like finances, relationships, meals, work projects that cannot be fixed easily and it will require more time and energy then to just scrap the original plan and start over.

Something as simple as my nails actually turned out better than the original when I stopped trying to fix it.  The new was better than the original and quicker than spinning my wheels in trying to fix it.

Here are some tips that you can do to evaluate your situation:

-          Step back and be honest with yourself if a fix will truly give you the desired outcome.

-          How much energy, time or money will be required if you start versus trying to fix it?

-          Ask others close to you for advice on whether starting over is really your best option.

-          Finally, imagine yourself with the new “product”.  How does that feel?

Staring over may not be as bad as you think.  Stop trying to fit into what society thinks and do what is truly best for you today!

Cheering you on,

Silvia

Coach Silvia